As my personal New Year has come I have decided to make some adjustments to my life. These adjustment all have varying degrees of impact on my life, but all have lasting positive influences on my life as well. I am going to track the progress and report it on my blog so if it interests anyone to follow, please join me. I see this as a positive fast track to healing by;
1 Focusing on the intangible assets that I hold dearest to my heart and soul, that being my family.
2. Eliminating mind enhancing medications, (all are legally prescribed by a physician).
3. Terminating/Suspending any undo stress regarding people places, or things that I deem unhealthy or unwanted in my life.
4. I will also tell my story with many different forms of writing, so I will label sarcasm, anger, humor and any emotion so no one can confuse my message. I am well aware of the interpretation some can have when there is not any tones of the voice to associate intent. This is not to insult the intelligence of anyone, but to keep a clear perspective for all caliber of readers.
5. This is not a blog to offend anyone, but simply telling my story to a healthier me. And anyone has the right to not read it as well as the right to enjoy the progress as much as I plan to.
6. UPDATEED AMMENDMENT: Delete #4 I am not going to label my writing. After thinking about it, people need to read it as I write it and understand it as it is written or please refer to #5. Nothing more nothing less. I am pretty good at showing my emotions when I write so there should not be an issue. My goal is #1, not satisfying the needs of others because of a private matter that I have chosen to make public. It just sounded much too complicated.
LETS GET STARTED!!!!!!
As I have noted in my last blog of my most recent accident that resulted in a concussion, it seems situations have elevated in concern of my wellbeing. Not just the fact that the last concussion was the problem, but it elevated from a previous plateau. A plateau that was a subsequent elevation from yet an earlier plateau, and so on. I think you see my point. My goal throughout this has been to keep my head up, stay strong, remain positive, and keep plugging away. Since the 2 plus years of suffering and progressing with this disease I have come to find out that I am not the only one that must deal with everything that has endured. Life sucks sometimes. My entire life has been of a mindset to deal with the issue and move on. Never have I dwelled on MY issues to whine or feel sorry for myself. I deal with it and move on. Well, the part I have never considered was the part of how my kids, my mother, my siblings, OH NO, MY WIFE! She has always been by my side. She is a nurse, always watching out for me. She is riding this rollercoaster with me sitting on my lap. Right? Right? Oops.......WRONG AGAIN!!
Why are my kids so distant and defiant? Because they are kids!!! RIGHT???? (Fading horn blows) FAIL!!! My children, older and younger, I guess have not bought in to the fact that my plan is working for me. My wife, whom I will call Tammi, in this blog, and not my Editor in chief or any other name that I have found funny or displayed as humor in past posts or blogs. This can't affect her because I am doing the laundry, keeping the house clean, doing anything possible to keep her mind on her work, children and family. No one needs to worry about me, I am doing my part.
I have never stopped to think or even ask what my children think or what their concerns are about my illness. As long as I keep doing my part, I think it will blend in as part of everyday life. RIGHT? Son of a bitch!! Can someone please say Right one time stick that horn where the sun doesn't shine?? I guess not. I see this light in the distance and it is approaching quickly, Shit is about to get real!!!
These are thoughts that I have been forced to deal with and since my birthday falls on the same day as the new fiscal calendar year of the federal government, I thought it would be a good time to take inventory! Inventory to the degree of profits are declining and my efforts are increasing and more difficult to keep my very vague goals that I described that will keep me plugging away. So, after a couple of incidents that applied to facebook brought much of this to a head. I have decided to stay off social media in the respect of posting and commenting. I am going to post my blog, but I will not respond to any comments. And please comment if you wish and please share the blog if you will. I am doing something for the betterment of my life and going public doing it. I encourage any and all that have not
"Taken Inventory", to do so.
My facebook blog that got this rolling was in regards to what I felt was a bullying incident. This is not a post I would have made 1 year ago, 5 years ago or ever as far as that is concerned. For some reason recently I have felt compelled to get into the drama phase of social media. Not only this post, but many political and highly sensitive material that is subject to much debate. I didn't ask if it was right and the f@#king horn blows anyway. Hahaha!!! Next is calling my wife these derogatory names publicly such as Editor in chief disrespectfully.
Here is the deal. I have already started decreasing (weaning) off of a narcotic pain killer, and another non-narcotic pain med that are both highly sensitive to this process. This was after a lengthy doctors visit that Tammi made for me. I was able to completely tell it like I see it from seeing doctor after doctor and to get nothing more than a try this medication or try this medication. Or people I know who have all of the answers because they read it on WEB MD. I am blowing the horn now and it is going to blow until it runs out of air. For people I know, why would I take any advice from someone that has absolutely no knowledge of the medical profession when I have little trust in the medical professionals. It is best to constructive research on things they like. I talked to a friend of mine that is in a similar position as myself and he summed it up perfectly. "Everyone wants to be the one that says SEE I AM RIGHT"! Next, I have started staying away from any relationships that may be negatively impacted. And So far so good! I really feel much better today
I will talk to you soon and instead of me just plugging away my new bus filled with my family will be rollin' rollin' rollin'!!!
